


The Revolution of the Soul

by Rocamadour



Series: Soul Mates [2]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 12:05:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocamadour/pseuds/Rocamadour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It doesn't matter if they don't always find each other. <br/>Enjolras is going to love him in every lifetime he has.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Revolution of the Soul

When Enjolras first recognises him, Grantaire and he are awaiting their deaths.

Enjolras thinks about riddles and moon light as he feels puzzled by a man who stands next to him ready to die for a cause he doesn’t believe in. 

He thinks about how right it feels when their fingers are intertwined -- all thoughts about revolution and freedom lost in those big brown eyes that shine with a conviction he has never seen in anyone else. 

The first time Enjolras understood Grantaire, they died holding hands. 

\--

The second time Enjolras finds him Grantaire is laughing in a bar, a few tables away from him. His hair is now blond and he has an easy smile that makes Enjolras freeze and forget how to breathe.

That’s Grantaire in the way that he moves like nothing worries him (but his eyes always say otherwise), that’s Grantaire in the way he speaks and bites his lips after breaking into a teasing smile. That’s Grantaire in the way that Enjolras’ soul is yearning for him. 

He feels the adrenaline rushing trough all his body and he desperately wants to talk to him, to thank him, to hold his hand and to never ever let him go. But Enjolras is confused (what the hell is this?) and he can’t bring himself to approach him. He’s panicking. What if Grantaire doesn’t recognise him? What if he hates him?

So he stares and waits, and waits, until Grantaire leaves without even noticing him. 

Enjolras leaves a half an hour later as he wonders when did his chest started to hurt so much, and why he is suddenly so nervous and angry and he also wants to know how to make his heart stop beating so damn fast.

He makes sure Grantaire doesn’t find him.

Because what if Grantaire still loves him? 

(Enjolras is not ready to love him back)

\- -

Enjolras is seven and handsome, in a little black vest that is just like his daddy’s. He has dark brown curls and big green eyes that follow his mother’s elegant silhouette while she walks in front of him in the crowded streets of New York. 

The city is full of joy and the winter is finally over. The trees are green and the sun is rising right up his head, shining like he has never seen before, golden light turning everything into something so beautiful that he has to stop for a moment to look with amazement. 

That is when he sees her.

She is sitting in the pavement, head resting into the dirty wall in the corner of the street. She is wearing a dirty dress too long to be her own and in her face there are a couple of bruises that make her look like she is much older than she really is. 

She looks so sad it breaks Enjolras’ little heart. 

He thinks that maybe she is lost. 

He thinks that perhaps he could help her.

He thinks that his mother would help her find her parents and then they could all go buy ice cream and they would be best friends forever or something like that.

He’s wrong.

When they get home and he asks his mother why they couldn’t help that girl, she tells him that this is how real life works. 

\--

It takes him awhile to be able to love Grantaire.

It takes him about two lives without him, feeling like something is missing but never quite understanding what it is.

(It’s not freedom, it’s not equality, and it’s not liberty

Nevertheless he fights and dies for them)

It takes him about three lives finding Grantaire and letting him go to understand that to want is not to need and that there can be no revolution without love. 

It takes two shots of whiskey to make Enjolras go and knock in Grantaire’s door and kiss him until they’re both breathless. 

It takes them one night to memorise each other’s body. 

\--

Enjolras is a lullaby that Grantaire can’t hear. 

\--

“Be careful” Enjolras says, while he fixes the other man’s shirt with his hands. 

“Be easy” Grantaire answerers in a playful tone, but he tries to comfort him anyway. “I’m going to be fine, I promise” 

Enjolras nods as he watches Grantaire kissing his hands with adoration before leaving him. 

He’s going to be away only for a couple of hours, Enjolras says to himself, so he tries to remove all these bad feelings he’s having. Grantaire just have to get the information and get out that place as quick as he can. They have studied everything that could go wrong and Grantaire knows all the possible exits that won’t be secured by heart. He’s fast, anyway. There should be no problem. 

(There is, but Grantaire makes sure Enjolras gets what he wants even if in the process Enjolras loses what he needs)

\- -

They beat him up until he dies. 

After all, a slave has no rights and it’s really easy to replace them. 

\--

Enjolras has known him since she was five. He lives in the house right next to hers. 

They grow up together and they learn to share everything -- from toys to silly dreams and first kisses. 

No one is really surprised when she and Grantaire start dating. Their parents had seen it coming all along the way, after all. 

It’s wonderful, and they keep sharing everything -- from hiding spots to smoke cigarettes to night escapes to make love under the moon light. 

It’s so natural being with Grantaire that it frightens her. 

“Marry me?”

Grantaire says yes. 

\- - 

Sometimes he still feels the weight of the guillotine upon his shoulders. 

\- -

Enjolras doesn’t realise this, but he likes to touch Grantaire’s tattoos when he’s tired. 

He always begins by the one in his left arm, a skeleton crying. He follows the tears with his fingers, Grantaire’s skin soft under his touch. Next, he reaches the sea of the Odysseus’ ship and he wonders if perhaps those beautiful mermaids are trying to drown him too. 

He likes the sounds of contentment that Grantaire makes when he touches the ones in his chest. It’s a complicated design made by Grantaire himself and he loves it because it’s full of night colours and it’s just Grantaire.

However, his favourite one is the one in his hips.

It’s just a phrase written in Enjolras handwriting and every time they make love, Enjolras kisses it until he has made sure Grantaire knows that he loves him, too.

\--

This revolution has success. 

But there’s no Grantaire and Enjolras feels like this means nothing at all. 

\--

The house where they hold the clandestine meetings used to be an old service house in the countryside. It’s been empty for almost 20 years, so they think it’s perfect. It’s really small and Enjolras had been the one to bring all the furniture so they could all be more comfortable. 

She likes to go there by herself to finish everything she has to do.

She’s so busy planning that she doesn’t realise Grantaire’s there too, watching her from a corner of the room. She’s thinking about how many guns they have and where they would be most likely to get some more. Perhaps she could write to his cousin’s husband, or to that General who proposed to her last spring, before all this charade began. 

“You’re a woman” Grantaire finally says, breaking the silence.

Enjolras pauses and looks at him, shocked, before she quickly composes her face again and says.

“And you’re not supposed to be here”

“If they find out, they’ll probably kill you” he says, like he’s enjoying it “Aren’t you afraid that I’m going to expose you?” Grantaire asks with a little smirk in his face.

“You won’t” Enjolras’ tone is firm as she walks where he’s sitting, moving her hips in what Grantaire thinks should be illegal. They both know that if it wasn’t him who found out, Enjolras would be more than scared. 

“How are you so sure of it?”Grantaire says and Enjolras smile is teasing, but she sits next to him anyway. 

“Because” She says, as she leans in to whisper in his lips “you’re in love with me” 

And then, they’re kissing. 

\--

This is in Paris. Again.

It’s raining and Enjolras misses his train. 

(Grantaire doesn’t)

\--

His eyes are blues this time. 

They remind him of the sea and waves made out with salt and treasures hidden. 

They remind him of lost islands and skies full of gods and perhaps Thetis is behind all of this. 

(They remind him of the infinite and yet they’re not immortals.) 

Enjolras leaves that night, because he can’t stand watching him die once more. 

\--

He finds Combeferre one sunny afternoon in Japan. 

All it takes is a look to know, and they end up going to a little park nearby, full of cherry trees and smiles and laughs. 

Combeferre is a little less serious than before.

Enjolras is a little more self-conscious.

But it’s them, and Enjolras is so glad he can enjoy the familiarity of this, that he can talk and talk and he doesn’t have to worry because he just gets it. 

“Have you found Grantaire yet?”

Enjolras gives him a little sad smile. 

“I don’t think he’s here this time” 

(He’s not)

They stay silent for a moment. 

“Have you found Courfeyrac yet?”

“I saw him a couple of years ago. He’s fine”

Combeferre, however, is not. 

\--

“I think I might be in love with you again” 

They laugh.

\--

They’re lying in bed, sheets covering their bodies. Outside, the snow is falling from the sky and it’s cold and that’s why they’re pressed so tightly against each other. 

“We both know how this is going to end” Enjolras mumbles in Grantaire’s ear. She just pulls him closer but does not answer, because, yes, she knows and it hurts so she doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“I wouldn’t change this for nothing in the world” Enjolras continues, caressing her slowly and with absolutely tenderness, like she’s the most precious thing ever. “But this time, I will not fight. I want to be yours forever”

“Don’t.” Grantaire finally says looking intensely at him. “Just don’t, okay? Don’t make promises you cannot keep, because I’m going to lose you again and I’m going to die and I’ll pass three more lives having nightmares until we no longer meet. So please, don’t.”

They were no supposed to have eternity, anyway. 

\--  
Enjolras burns.

But he arises from his ashes once more

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a little more difficult to write, I rewrite it like 5 times and I'm still unsure about it, but I really wanted to finish this and well.  
> Any kind of feedback is still highly appreciated. And of course, I apologise for any mistakes because Spanish and English are not quite the same thing, you know.  
> Thanks for reading! This was really fun to write.


End file.
